In honor of this upcoming Mother’s Day weekend, we are pleased to have author Adele Griffin on the blog with a piece about her mother and about becoming a mother herself.
Adele Griffin with her mother, 1989.
My favorite memory of my mom is from the least-favorite time of my life. It happened back in October 2007, when my daughter, Priscilla, was born four months premature. Weighing just one-point-seven pounds, Priscilla was what they call a “micro-preemie” and we were taking her chances for survival day by day. My parents had come across the country to sit with my husband and me in the neonatal intensive care unit, dropping everything in their lives to be there for their first grandchild in her fight to survive.
On a night of particular trauma and medical urgency, I was hovering at the ventilator whispering to my daughter all of the things we’d do together when she got well. I thought my mom was asleep in the hospital rocking chair, but it turned out she was listening. “I’m looking forward to us all getting out of here and starting the fun part, too,” she said. Her voice was almost startlingly casual; in it she gave me no indication that she didn’t believe this tiny baby, hooked up to at least a dozen tubes and with drugs of every description pumping into her, would be one day be on the swings and slide, or picking out her favorite flavor of ice cream.
When my world was falling apart and there was nothing to hold onto in that night but the sound of my mother’s voice, so known to me, so matter-of-fact and assured—no matter that there wasn’t any reason for her to be so—I held it very hard. And I immediately wanted to be that voice for my own daughter, to offer her that same perfect confidence. My mother’s private fears were identically mine, but her outward assurance was her gift and guide for me.
My daughter did come home, a hundred twenty-one days later and four pounds heavier. Today, at age five, she is well into the “fun part,” which includes sharing her grandmother’s love of a scoop of fudge-swirl on a sugar cone with sprinkles—after a few turns on the swing. I’ve heard my mother’s voice in my own countless times since then, when I assure my daughter that the thunder can’t come inside or that vampires are just pretend. And while I know that my daughter’s fears will change, I hope that her trust in my voice continues to be a way for her to hold onto a simple peace in that hour when she needs it most.
Left: Adele Griffin with her daughter, Priscilla; Right: Adele Griffin's mother with her granddaughter, Priscilla
Adele Griffin is a critically lauded author of children's books and young adult fiction. Griffin has won a number of awards, including National Book Award nominations for Sons of Liberty and Where I Want to Be. Her books are regularly cited on ALA Best and ALA Notable lists.
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