Open Road is proud to present Dr. Ava Cadell, leading expert on love, relationships, and sex. Dr. Ava was recently named the 2015 Sexpert of the Year by the Sexual Health Expo. Dr. Ava launched the education and news site Sexpert.com to inform people of the benefits of healthy love and sex and is the founder of LoveologyUniversity.com and President of the American College of Sexologists International. Her bookNeurolovologyexplores the science and psychology of romantic relationships.
Below, Dr. Ava shares her tips for a meaningful Valentine's Day.
Who says Valentine’s Day can only be one day a year? It’s absurd to think we could actually make meaningful changes to our intimate lives in one day, one week, or even one month!
In reality, 69 days, give or take, is the amount of time it takes to change habits and create new patterns as a couple. Or, to deepen your self-love to attract the right partner if you’re single. Why on earth would we allow something as important as our personal relationships to be crammed into this tiny box that only allows us to be romantic on one day of the year?
This year, I’m challenging the status quo! I’m introducing my 69-day Valentine’s Season! And to help people rise to the challenge, I’m suggesting that couples and singles try ‘neuro-cises’ from my book Neuroloveology for the whole Valentine’s Season. These neuro-cises help singles and couples change their habits and become more positive, loving and sexy. And if that’s not enough, the benefits also include growing your brain cells, relationship and expanding your sex life. Here are three examples to get you started.
First you can try the Passion Wheel, which is simply a drawn circle divided into pie slices. Take turns writing something romantic or sexy activities in each slice, and then spin the wheel and take the plunge once a day or even once a week. For singles, start a gratitude journal to generate positive energy and attract romance by listing all the things you are most grateful for in your life.
Next, try something I call the Loveology Loop. Examine your romantic patterns and what triggers end up delivering unwanted results? Once you discover what’s happening, you can actively replace the behavior linked to your trigger with one that will yield a better result. For example, when the phone rings (trigger) right around bedtime and you answer it (behavior), then your partner is always too tired for sex once you get off the phone (negative result.) During the 69-day Valentine’s Season, replace your behavior with something new and see what happens. Instead of taking the call, kiss your partner! Let us all know how it goes.
For singles, do exactly the same thing with that habit of staying up late when that new lover doesn’t call. Always end up feeling lonely and pathetic? Change the behavior! If he or she doesn’t call, you go to the gym, take yourself out for dinner – something positive. The result will be building your self-esteem and loving yourself.
Lastly, try creating a couples mission statement. Write down your hopes and dreams together, and get back on the same page about how you want to live your lives, spend your money, and envision your future. This works for singles too. Imagine your ideal partner and write down everything you’d like them to be.
Let your 69-day Valentine’s Season bring you unexpected positive results! And find many more neur-cises in my book Neuroloveology.
Dr. Ava Cadell: www.avacadell.com
{buybutton id=15288/}